Happy new year
The new year is less than a week away. All of you must be busy preparing to celebrate. What makes 1st January a special date from any other date? 1st January comes with a strong hope of changing our life for good. Positivity of mind is at the highest point. So we make resolutions and start dreaming a beautiful future.
Dreams are good. They charge us with positive energy. But wake up. Dreams are of two types. One is day dreaming and other realistic. When a dream is not specific or is vague it may be a day dream. Like dreaming of owning a plush apartment, a luxury car, enjoying exotic holidays are vague dreams. To have it all you need to raise your income to be able to spend on your dreams. So raising your income to that level is your real dream. Because this dream is measurable. Now you can plan a strategy to increase your income towards your goal.
Day dreams die out fast and so does the positivity associated with it. So if you want to make the new year really happy and life changing, start with seeing a specific dream. Think what is that one thing you are missing most. It could be relationship, a coveted position in your job, or it could be an entrepreneur vision. Know well that money cannot be a goal. The goal is the means by which you are going to earn. Money is the outcome of satisfying your inner needs. Even if you find a loving, supporting relationship, the mental piece creates a spring of happiness. Happiness is the main source of positive energy. The positive energy allows your brain to think out of the box. It allows you to take the risks, negotiate obstacles. The more you do it, more positive energy gets released. The cycle goes on and then you break all barriers and reach your goal. You become victorious.
New year resolutions
The point I am trying to drive at is to choose a proper goal. Proper goal is the one that you are missing most in life. This could be a relationship with your spouse, children, or a friend. If you are having frequent arguments, then sorting out the problem could be your goal. Think about the problem and find solution by having heart to heart talk. If the relationship is beyond repairs, come out of it.
If you are a young adult, your goal could be to find love of your life. If you are a family person, your goal could be to satisfy your family members’ needs and also, provide them with enjoyment.
The major need is to have financial freedom. This requires review of your present job or profession. If you see opportunities, then find out how can you tap them. It may require updating or acquiring new skills. It may sometimes require your attitude and thought process,
If you do not see opportunities in your job, or you find your job not matching your characteristic, find a job of your interest and start reskilling yourself to be eligible for that job. Find a way to a smooth career transition.
You need to start your journey towards your dream. If you leave everything to fate, you will never find your dream. When you work intelligently in your job, and put in your efforts, your management rewards you by way of salary raise or promotion. Similarly, God showers blessings on those who work hard in fulfilling their dreams. Those who do not put in their efforts, often get neglected.
It is your choice, whether you want to contribute in making this new year a happy or a normal year. Prepare to welcome the new year not just by celebrating, but also by visualizing a dream and making plans to realize it.
I offer my best wishes. Wish you a happy and prosperous new year.
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Happiness, most desired feeling
During our life we get different feelings like fear, grief, tension, curiosity, and happiness. But happiness tops all the feelings. What makes happiness the most desired feeling? If you consider food, it comes in different tastes like hot, sweet, bitter and raw etc. Different people prefer different tastes. So is the case in case of arts, hobby etc. But when it comes to happiness it is the desired feeling for almost everybody.
Happiness a source of positivity
What makes it so special? It is because happiness when it comes occupies our mind and drives out all negativities from there. When we clear the computer of all the clutter, it starts working faster. Similarly, happiness clears the negativities from our mind, and makes space for innovative thinking. Innovative thinking boosts creativity. Happiness also serves as a miraculous energy tonic.
Creativity and energy together serve as a launch pad and booster for our progress. It is therefore important to achieve and preserve happiness to make life a pleasant journey.
How to keep ourselves happy
How to keep ourselves positive and find happiness frequently? Following are a few tips.
Find a few moments during your routine, once a day, once a week, or once a month with yourself. You should be alone and away from your daily grind during these moments to avoid distraction. Think of your painful memories or problems creating tension one at a time. Let your feelings flow freely. Calm down slowly. Convince your mind that the painful events have happened and have become a history. You or the person causing pains cannot go back to the past and make corrections. There is no use thinking over it. Most of the painful memories will get wiped out of your mind. A few of them will still remain, which you can never forget. But their frequency will reduce. The pain will lose its sting.
As regards to problems, convince yourself that the problem is real and needs to be tackled. There are two ways to do it. Either change your path to bypass the problem or find a way to solve it. You cannot stay with the problem. If you do not find a solution, consult a mentor.
Here are a few tips to avoid creating unnecessary tension.
- Do not overcommit to anyone. It creates false hope in the person whom you overcommit. It may strain your relations if you are not able to fulfil the commitment and gives unnecessary tension to you.
- Learn to say a polite but firm no. It may cause a little bitterness at the moment, but avoids further tensions to you and the other person.
- Meditate whenever you find time.
- Spend some time on a hobby, movie, music of your interest to refresh yourself.
- Last but not least share your feelings with your closest person, who may be your partner, child, or a friend. This person can also serve as a mentor. You can find a mentor to help you. Having a mentor makes life easy.
In search of happiness
Every human being has a dream or life goal. The goals are different like to be an engineer, doctor, chartered accountant, sportsman, or an artist. All these goals lead to happiness. So everybody is in search of happiness.
However, when they try to find a way to their happiness they get confused. They see different routes to happiness and get confused.
I had read a story during my childhood. There was a belief that at the end of a rainbow where it touches the ground a pot full of gold is buried in the ground. Everybody tried to reach that spot but it kept going farther and at one point in time it vanished. The story applies to those who are in pursuit of happiness.
In order to clear the confusion, understand what happiness means to you. Do not look for advice or guidance. The perception of happiness is different for everyone, as every individual is different. Everybody cannot enjoy the same food even if it is prepared by the best chef. Somebody prefers spicy hot food, while others may like sweet food.
Even we feel the same action or event differently in different situations. Let me share my own example. I love my grandson immensely. I get an opportunity to meet him once a year for a few weeks only. During that period I spent maximum time with him. He makes me play with him. Since he is only four years old, he is bubbling with energy. I really sweat while playing with him. But I never feel tired of him. On the contrary, I find the energy and the highest happiness during that period. During the rest of the year, these memories serve as a source of peak happiness to me. But when I exert myself taking exercises for the same amount of effort, it tires me out. The exertion is the same. In the first case, it elates my heart the other is part of daily routine and mandatory.
Sources of happiness
So happiness is found in whatever touches your heart. It could be food, hobby, relationship, or profession. Obviously, happiness is not the same for all. It is unique to everyone. Also, all the sources of happiness are temporary. If you find all these that are of your interest every day, then it becomes routine. The charm gets lost. Therefore there is no eternal happiness.
Happiness and pain – Contrast effect
A color becomes prominent against contrasting colors. Similarly, happiness becomes enjoyable when you go through some pain to achieve it. You find that sweet feeling at the end of hard work. Do not expect happiness in an easy life. It may be pain-free but you do not get the special feeling of happiness. If you consider my previously stated example, my enjoyment during my meet with my grandson is due to a long separation from him. If I get to meet him frequently, still I would enjoy time with him as I love him so much. But when I meet him after a long separation the happiness gets added with a special charm. We find happiness in a relationship when during a fight or argument the other person steps down to appease us. The principal is anything in this word becomes prominent by contrast. If you see the moon in the sky during the day, it does not attract you because it is dim against the sunlight. But the same moon becomes charming and beautiful in the night sky.
A color becomes prominent against contrasting color. Similarly happiness becomes enjoyable when you go through some pain to achieve it. You find that sweet feeling at the end of hard work. Do not expect happiness in an easy life. It may be pain free but you do not get the special feeling of happiness. If you consider my previously stated example, my enjoyment during my meet with my grandson is due to long separation with him. If I get to meet him frequently, still I would enjoy time with him as I love him so much. But when I meet him after a long separation the happiness gets added with a special charm. We find happiness in a relationship when during a fight or argument the other person steps down to appease us. The principal is anything in this word becomes prominent by contrast. If you see moon in the sky during the day, it does not charm you because it is dim against the sunlight. But the same moon becomes charming and beautiful in the night sky.
Happiness is not a destination
Do not expect eternal happiness. Do not believe anybody who promises you that. Try to find happiness wherever, whenever you can. Try your favorite dish once in a while. Spend time working on your hobby when you find the time. Watch or play your favorite sport when you are free. Go to a destination of your interest once a month.
But you spend most of your time in your profession and the rest of the time in a relationship. So these are the two things which can instill happiness in your life. Find a profession that allows your strength or unique qualities to be fully utilized. For this, you need to discover your unique strengths and match careers. The career counselor can help you to do that if you are not sure.
The next is relationship. Try to develop a good relationship with your love. Of course, it has to be a two-way process.
Finally, remember that happiness is not a destination. It is a discovery on the way of our life path. Enjoy it whenever you find it. Do not regret it when you pass on. The memories will form your treasure of happiness. Tap it whenever you are alone and down.
My best wishes for a happy life to my readers.
The next blog in the series is to be published next Wednesday 1st December 2021.
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How to find happiness
We have two destinations in life, which are fixed for everybody. Starting destination is birth and the last destination is death. In between the two destinations lies our life. We all try to find happiness in life.
Happiness is in different forms and so is every human. Hence happiness is different for everybody. But the ultimate aim for finding happiness lies in earning enough wealth. So everybody tries to earn wealth as much as they can. In the quest for money, we work hard and long hours. We sacrifice our own leisure, time for our close relatives and friends. In the process, we hurt or damage relations. We buy a house, car; spend a vacation once a year. If you weigh the losses against gains, we find losses overweigh the gains.
Where do we go wrong? The secret is the journey does not start with wealth and ends in happiness as generally believed. It is vice versa. The journey starts with happiness and ends in wealth. By creating wealth we add to our happiness by making our near ones happy.
Confused? Let us take an example. Alphonso mangoes grow in the Konkan area of Maharashtra. Oranges grow in Nagpur and Apples grow in Kashmir. If they are grown in other areas, the fruits are not as tasty and juicy as in the above-mentioned areas. Why? Because only specific areas have the soil and weather that suits these fruit-bearing trees. The same thing applies to our happiness. To grow happiness requires certain attributes those suit the particular person.
The ingredients for happiness
Every person is unique in terms of qualities like strengths, skills, and interests. These qualities and interests form the basic ingredients for happiness. To cultivate happiness you need to feed these ingredients to your life. A child who is skilled in drawing, music, or sports should be provided with training and other facilities to cultivate his/her interests. If the parents force the child to focus on academics and leave its interests in the background, the child may still perform but will never be happy, and his/her progress will be limited.
I came across a nice quote in this regard. It says, “A formal education can earn you a living, but self-education can earn you a fortune”. A glaring example is the great Indian cricket team ex-captain M.S. Dhoni. He had a job as a Ticket collector in Indian railways. It was a secured job and was making a comfortable living. But he was not happy in his job. He took the risk to resign and start a career in cricket. The wealth he got would have been beyond his dreams if he had continued in the secured job.
Summary and conclusion
Take control of your own life. Stop living to satisfy the expectations of others. Identify your own interests and strengths. Ignore the criticism and believe in yourself. Find your own career path instead of following the crowd. If required find a mentor. Do not get disheartened by failures and difficulties on the way. Take a break and recharge yourself. Keep going till you reach your goal.
At the end of the road lies your dream goal.
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The holiday season is on. Diwali has just passed. Christmas is a couple of months ahead followed by New Year. A pleasant season of winter is about to start. Offices are going to open up. It is time to relieve you from the painful memories of last year and refresh for the daily grind and also for a career leap.
A refreshed mind always ignites hope and energy for progress. You can either go on a vacation or spend time on your hobbies. Listen to favorite music or watch favorite movies. The purpose is to get enough energy for a fresh start. Forget what you have lost. Set your eyes on the future.
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We all try to maintain physical fitness as much as we can. Exercise, walking, Zumba are some of the activities, that is done for maintaining physical fitness. But we do not care for mental health fitness. This is because; physical fitness can be observed visually and measured by standards like weight and height.
Mental health has no visual appearance. Mental health can be self-assessed by the happiness factor. Higher the happiness better is mental health. Now the question is how to decide happiness. Let us first define happiness.
Definition of happiness
Happiness is in successfully achieving our goal. The goal could be anything. It could be being praised at home or office, or learning something new, or completing any other activity. When a person feels happiness in most of the daily activities, he/she can be said to be happy. Also, one who gets sound sleep and gets up fresh after sleep is said to be happy. It can be said that such a person has sound mental health.
Health is the foundation for success
Mental health gives us the inspiration to see dreams and drives us to work towards them. It also allows us to be innovative. Physical fitness provides us the energy to work towards our goals. The two combined together allow us to decide and reach our goal. In short, these two factors are the contributing factors to our success.
A human being starts dreaming in his/her early childhood. But firm ideas start taking shape around the age of 13-14 years. This is the stage when their interests and skills need to be explored. Every individual has unique and distinct strengths. Parents need to take the help of a career counselor to discover their child’s strengths at this stage. His/her career needs to be planned that matches with the unique strength and skill. This ensures developing the sound mental health of that child.
For adults, it is often observed that most people work to earn their livelihood. But they are not happy in their job as their job is not of their interest. When a person is forced to spend half of his/her life working on something that is not of his/her interest, it affects that person’s mental health. It shows in their performance, success and happiness.
Factors affecting mental health
Apart from the above over-commitment is a major factor affecting mental health. Over-commitment to own family or to office results in pushing own interests down. Though such over-commitment wins praise from family members or bosses, these are temporary. In the end, it is self-achievement that wins respect in family, society, and profession. Over-commitment results in sacrificing self-development.
Tips for maintaining sound mental health:
- Do not continue in a job you dislike. Find a career of your interest. Reskill yourself to be eligible for the career of your interest. Once ready for a new career, change your job.
- Always give time to your own interests and self-development.
- Have a perfect work-life balance.
- Never ever over-commit, whether it is personal or professional.
- Learn to say a polite but firm no. It may cause temporary bitterness. But in the long term, it eliminates a lot of stress and strain.
- Learn from the past but do not stay in it for too long.
- If you fail or commit a mistake, do not keep that guilty feeling for long. Think of the future and proceed.
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Following the crowd
The common practice of job hunt is to search for jobs on job portals and advertisements on media and various platforms. This process is followed by masses. Obviously, there are hundreds of applications for a single vacancy. There are many eligible applicants among those hundreds. You being able to stand out from the crowd become a lesser probability.
Tapping the hidden job market
Therefore you have to find other sources for your job search. Following are some of them:
- Visit the company websites. On the home page you may find “Careers” page, where they publish available careers and eligibility criterion. You can register on that site and post your resume. They will get back to you whenever they have a vacancy.
- If you know the organizations providing your desired job opportunities, check the contacts of related department heads on Linkedin. Send your resume to their email or contact directly. Most of the time they forward such applications to their HR department. An application received through department head receives better attention.
- There are some portals publishing remote job opportunities. These opportunities are from diverse fields like accounts, secretarial, marketing, designing and animation etc. You can register on these sites. They keep on showing the opportunities. When you find something of your interest you can apply or bid as the case may be.
Some useful platforms
- Following are a couple of sites:
Flexjobs and Barefoot student
Good luck to you in your job search. Please fill in the contact form to receive regular updates and information about new opportunities.
Dear job seekers
If you are searching for jobs, beware. Many current jobs are on their way to their extinction. Instead of wasting your time and energy in chasing these jobs, look for new opportunities. Opportunities do not approach us. We have to grab them when they are passing by.
Read the page “New opportunities – Digital marketing”. Those who have already started, here is an opportunity to get free tools with which you can kick off your new career. Visit the following link: