Happiness is an experience, not an event

Punk, Music, City Street, Guitar, Artist

Happiness, most desired  feeling

During our life we get different feelings like fear, grief, tension, curiosity, and happiness. But happiness tops all the feelings. What makes happiness the most desired feeling? If you consider food, it comes in different tastes like hot, sweet, bitter and raw etc. Different people prefer different tastes. So is the case in case of arts, hobby etc. But when it comes to happiness it is the desired feeling for almost everybody.

Happiness a source of positivity

What makes it so special? It is because happiness when it comes occupies our mind and drives out all negativities from there. When we clear the computer of all the clutter, it starts working faster. Similarly, happiness clears the negativities from our mind, and makes space for innovative thinking. Innovative thinking boosts creativity. Happiness also serves as a miraculous energy tonic.

Creativity and energy together serve as a launch pad and booster for our progress. It is therefore important to achieve and preserve happiness to make life a pleasant journey.

How to keep ourselves happy

How to keep ourselves positive and find happiness frequently? Following are a few tips.

Find a few moments during your routine, once a day, once a week, or once a month with yourself. You should be alone and away from your daily grind during these moments to avoid distraction. Think of your painful memories or problems creating tension one at a time. Let your feelings flow freely. Calm down slowly. Convince your mind that the painful events have happened and have become a history. You or the person causing pains cannot go back to the past and make corrections. There is no use thinking over it. Most of the painful memories will get wiped out of your mind. A few of them will still remain, which you can never forget. But their frequency will reduce. The pain will lose its sting.

As regards to problems, convince yourself that the problem is real and needs to be tackled. There are two ways to do it. Either change your path to bypass the problem or find a way to solve it. You cannot stay with the problem. If you do not find a solution, consult a mentor.

Life tips

Here are a few tips to avoid creating unnecessary tension.

  1. Do not overcommit to anyone. It creates false hope in the person whom you overcommit. It may strain your relations if you are not able to fulfil the commitment and gives unnecessary tension to you.
  2. Learn to say a polite but firm no. It may cause a little bitterness at the moment, but avoids further tensions to you and the other person.
  3. Meditate whenever you find time.
  4. Spend some time on a hobby, movie, music of your interest to refresh yourself.
  5. Last but not least share your feelings with your closest person, who may be your partner, child, or a friend. This person can also serve as a mentor. You can find a mentor to help you. Having a mentor makes life easy.

Happiness a never ending search

In search of happiness

 

 

Every human being has a dream or life goal. The goals are different like to be an engineer, doctor, chartered accountant, sportsman, or an artist. All these goals lead to happiness. So everybody is in search of happiness.

However, when they try to find a way to their happiness they get confused. They see different routes to happiness and get confused.

I had read a story during my childhood. There was a belief that at the end of a rainbow where it touches the ground a pot full of gold is buried in the ground. Everybody tried to reach that spot but it kept going farther and at one point in time it vanished. The story applies to those who are in pursuit of happiness.

Happiness defined

In order to clear the confusion, understand what happiness means to you. Do not look for advice or guidance. The perception of happiness is different for everyone, as every individual is different. Everybody cannot enjoy the same food even if it is prepared by the best chef. Somebody prefers spicy hot food, while others may like sweet food.

Even we feel the same action or event differently in different situations. Let me share my own example. I love my grandson immensely. I get an opportunity to meet him once a year for a few weeks only. During that period I spent maximum time with him. He makes me play with him. Since he is only four years old, he is bubbling with energy. I really sweat while playing with him. But I never feel tired of him. On the contrary, I find the energy and the highest happiness during that period. During the rest of the year, these memories serve as a source of peak happiness to me. But when I exert myself taking exercises for the same amount of effort, it tires me out. The exertion is the same. In the first case, it elates my heart the other is part of daily routine and mandatory.

Sources of happiness

Mid adult man hitting shuttlecock with badminton racquet in court.
Punk, Music, City Street, Guitar, Artist

So happiness is found in whatever touches your heart. It could be food, hobby, relationship, or profession. Obviously, happiness is not the same for all. It is unique to everyone. Also, all the sources of happiness are temporary. If you find all these that are of your interest every day, then it becomes routine. The charm gets lost. Therefore there is no eternal happiness.

Happiness and pain – Contrast effect

A color becomes prominent against contrasting colors. Similarly, happiness becomes enjoyable when you go through some pain to achieve it. You find that sweet feeling at the end of hard work. Do not expect happiness in an easy life. It may be pain-free but you do not get the special feeling of happiness. If you consider my previously stated example, my enjoyment during my meet with my grandson is due to a long separation from him. If I get to meet him frequently, still I would enjoy time with him as I love him so much. But when I meet him after a long separation the happiness gets added with a special charm. We find happiness in a relationship when during a fight or argument the other person steps down to appease us. The principal is anything in this word becomes prominent by contrast. If you see the moon in the sky during the day, it does not attract you because it is dim against the sunlight. But the same moon becomes charming and beautiful in the night sky.

A color becomes prominent against contrasting color. Similarly happiness becomes enjoyable when you go through some pain to achieve it. You find that sweet feeling at the end of hard work. Do not expect happiness in an easy life. It may be pain free but you do not get the special feeling of happiness. If you consider my previously stated example, my enjoyment during my meet with my grandson is due to long separation with him. If I get to meet him frequently, still I would enjoy time with him as I love him so much. But when I meet him after a long separation the happiness gets added with a special charm. We find happiness in a relationship when during a fight or argument the other person steps down to appease us. The principal is anything in this word becomes prominent by contrast. If you see moon in the sky during the day, it does not charm you because it is dim against the sunlight. But the same moon becomes charming and beautiful in the night sky.

Happiness is not a destination

Do not expect eternal happiness. Do not believe anybody who promises you that. Try to find happiness wherever, whenever you can. Try your favorite dish once in a while. Spend time working on your hobby when you find the time. Watch or play your favorite sport when you are free. Go to a destination of your interest once a month.

But you spend most of your time in your profession and the rest of the time in a relationship. So these are the two things which can instill happiness in your life. Find a profession that allows your strength or unique qualities to be fully utilized. For this, you need to discover your unique strengths and match careers. The career counselor can help you to do that if you are not sure.

The next is relationship. Try to develop a good relationship with your love. Of course, it has to be a two-way process.

Finally, remember that happiness is not a destination. It is a discovery on the way of our life path. Enjoy it whenever you find it. Do not regret it when you pass on. The memories will form your treasure of happiness. Tap it whenever you are alone and down.

My best wishes for a happy life to my readers.

The next blog in the series is to be published next Wednesday 1st December 2021.

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Happiness to wealth

Pure happiness

How to find happiness

We have two destinations in life, which are fixed for everybody. Starting destination is birth and the last destination is death. In between the two destinations lies our life. We all try to find happiness in life.

 

Happiness is in different forms and so is every human. Hence happiness is different for everybody. But the ultimate aim for finding happiness lies in earning enough wealth. So everybody tries to earn wealth as much as they can. In the quest for money, we work hard and long hours. We sacrifice our own leisure, time for our close relatives and friends. In the process, we hurt or damage relations. We buy a house, car; spend a vacation once a year. If you weigh the losses against gains, we find losses overweigh the gains.

The secret

Where do we go wrong? The secret is the journey does not start with wealth and ends in happiness as generally believed. It is vice versa. The journey starts with happiness and ends in wealth. By creating wealth we add to our happiness by making our near ones happy.

 

Confused? Let us take an example. Alphonso mangoes grow in the Konkan area of Maharashtra. Oranges grow in Nagpur and Apples grow in Kashmir. If they are grown in other areas, the fruits are not as tasty and juicy as in the above-mentioned areas. Why? Because only specific areas have the soil and weather that suits these fruit-bearing trees. The same thing applies to our happiness. To grow happiness requires certain attributes those suit the particular person.

The ingredients for happiness

Every person is unique in terms of qualities like strengths, skills, and interests. These qualities and interests form the basic ingredients for happiness. To cultivate happiness you need to feed these ingredients to your life. A child who is skilled in drawing, music, or sports should be provided with training and other facilities to cultivate his/her interests. If the parents force the child to focus on academics and leave its interests in the background, the child may still perform but will never be happy, and his/her progress will be limited.

I came across a nice quote in this regard. It says, “A formal education can earn you a living, but self-education can earn you a fortune”. A glaring example is the great Indian cricket team ex-captain M.S. Dhoni. He had a job as a Ticket collector in Indian railways. It was a secured job and was making a comfortable living. But he was not happy in his job. He took the risk to resign and start a career in cricket. The wealth he got would have been beyond his dreams if he had continued in the secured job.

Summary and conclusion

Take control of your own life. Stop living to satisfy the expectations of others. Identify your own interests and strengths. Ignore the criticism and believe in yourself.  Find your own career path instead of following the crowd. If required find a mentor. Do not get disheartened by failures and difficulties on the way. Take a break and recharge yourself.  Keep going till you reach your goal.

At the end of the road lies your dream goal.

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Recharge for the new begining

Watch blockbuster movies from the comfort of your home

The holiday season is on. Diwali has just passed. Christmas is a couple of months ahead followed by New Year. A pleasant season of winter is about to start. Offices are going to open up. It is time to relieve you from the painful memories of last year and refresh for the daily grind and also for a career leap.

A refreshed mind always ignites hope and energy for progress. You can either go on a vacation or spend time on your hobbies. Listen to favorite music or watch favorite movies. The purpose is to get enough energy for a fresh start. Forget what you have lost. Set your eyes on the future.

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